It's not them, its me

As the mother of Bob, Pete and Burley I am more than familiar with the stress of getting children ready for their day at school. I have had my fair share of mornings that involved me screaming at the kids, them screaming at me, them screaming at each other, everyone ending up grumpy and running late, and me feeling like the worst mother in the world for two hours after they had gone to school. Yet I felt there must be some better way, a way that would mean everyone went about their day feeling happy and calm.

Since giving up my workaholic ways 2 years ago I have been struggling to do normal everyday things. Getting out of bed is one of those things. In the second half of last year it was rare for me to make it out of bed before 8, and only then to make myself presentable to drop the kids at school. It was left up to the #HSP to get himself and everyone ready, a task he did because he loves and supports me, but a task he did not enjoy. It was stressful for him, stressful for them and resulted in a lot of arguments.

I also noticed that Bob was not eating breakfast everyday. It was a nightmare to try and get her to eat breakfast, to find something that she would choose to eat. I do not allow ridiculous sugary cereals in the house so I couldn't even bribe her with those! I know that not eating breakfast was the start of my weight, health and body image issues so it concerned me greatly.

So before Christmas I made the decision that when the new school year started I would get up early every morning. I would remove the stress and pressure from the #HSP and get the children ready in the mornings myself. I also decided to start making breakfast everyday to make sure everyone was fueling their brains for optimum learning potential and to make sure Bob got back in the habit of eating breakfast every day.

The added bonus of me deciding to go walking every morning at 5:30am (as part of the 1 Million Kilo Challenge) is that I am up and moving before they are finished dreaming. I have managed to keep this up for 5 weeks so far (except 2 days when I had a cold) and the difference it has made to our mornings is astounding. There have been a couple of mornings where they have had to make their own breakfast (usually cereal or porridge) but most mornings they get either grilled cheese and tomato on toast, french toast, baked beans, fruit smoothies or fried or scrambled eggs. On weekends I try and make pancakes or a full cooked breakfast (bacon, eggs, baked beans hash browns etc) at least one morning and the other morning they fend for themselves.

On top of this I made the decision to go back to making their lunches for them. In the past I got them to make their own sandwiches, a task which seemed to take eons for everyone to get through. Now I make all three (sometimes four if I do one for the #HSP) and only ask them to pack their extras, 1 piece of fruit and between two and three snacks from our snack box. This means that the lunch making process is now over and complete in no more than 10 minutes, and without any fighting over who was using what and who got in who's way.

By forcing myself out of bed and by making the choice to do these few simple tasks I have three much happier kids and one much happier husband shaped person! Each morning everyone is ready by 7:45 at the latest (the boys school doesn't start until 8:30). Everyone leaves the house so much happier and less stressed. Everyone seems more relaxed and less argumentative with each other.

However the most wonderful thing for me is that Pete, who has had constant (anxiety driven) behaviour issues at school since pre-primary has yet to be in trouble this school year (I'm frantically knocking on wood as I type this). He is like a different boy. He still has his occassional tantrums and defiant episodes (hey don't we all) but on the whole the difference it has made to his demeanor is amazing!

So I implore you, if something in your life isn't working, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, thinking things will never be any better or blaming others, look at what things you can change and maybe you'll be surprised by the results! I certainly was!

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A Celebration of International Women's Day (or a post where I ramble)

So for those of you that live under a rock (as I usually do), today is International Women's Day. A day to celebrate the struggle of women before us and to celebrate our achievements and successes.  In honour of the women who came before us I would like to acknowledge the women who make a difference in my life.

Here they are in no particular order:

My Mum, Valerie - there is no one I admire more than her. She sacrificed so much for me and never once made me feel like she was doing it begrudgingly. She taught me what it is to be a women and a mother. She taught me to be independent, brave, loyal, funny, good at Yahtzee and to see both sides of every argument. She taught me that it is not people's position or title that matters but the content of their character. She taught me empathy and sympathy, she taught me to cook! We do not always agree and sometimes we fight but she also taught me the gift of forgiveness. She is pretty ace!

My Nana, Pat - she's watching me from up above now but when she was here she taught me what unconditional love was. She taught me that nothing is more important than family. She taught me to eat my Christmas pudding carefully in case there's a coin in it! Later in life, when the Alzheimer's got worse, she taught me the gifts of patience, of letting go and of knowing how to say goodbye. She taught me the joy of one last moment of recognition and she taught me that it's ok to feel sadness.

My Daughter, Princess Bob - my amazing, beautiful, smart, talented daughter. Everyday she teaches me something new. Together we learn how to cope with a teenager in the house, we learn to negotiate, to communicate, to share, to listen. She teaches me to say sorry when I am wrong. She makes me strive every day to be a better mother, a better woman, a better human being. I hope I can do as good a job teaching her as my mum and my Nana did teaching me.

Erin - she is probably my oldest friend even though we've only known each other for 5 years. She puts up with me when I whine, when I feel down, when I'm angry and when I'm just down right moody. She makes me laugh, she lifts me up and reminds me constantly that I have people who love me and that I should be proud of who I am. She keeps my secrets and listens to my melodrama! I don't see her as often as I would like but she is always in my heart and my thoughts.

Marie - she is a light in my sometimes dark world. She is my cheerleader, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on. She makes me laugh, she gets me, she lets me be myself. She reminds me that its ok to be a strong woman, to know who you are and what you want and to be ok with that. She reminds me that it's important to surround yourself with beauty and fabulous things. Above all she reminds me to be generous, in kindness, in love and in material goods!

(young) Tina - she is an absolute inspiration to me! She may be *cough* several *cough* years younger than me but she is my role model. Not only did she completely change her life by losing a ridiculous amount of weight but she is the epitome of elegance. She is kind, gentle, loving. She doesn't judge, she doesn't ridicule, she accepts people as they are. She cares deeply about the important people in her life and reminds me constantly to try and be a better me. She is the embodiment of the phrase "beautiful on the inside and out". I feel so privileged to be included in her circle of friends and feel so grateful to have met her.

Bec - If I could choose someone to be my second sister it would be her. She is always there when I need to talk, always cheering me on from the sidelines. She picks me up when I am down and celebrates with me when I succeed. She too has lost a ridiculous amount of weight and her journey inspires me to be better. When I think I can't do it she tells me that I can, she reminds me that I'm awesome, a trait we share! I just wish she lived closer as I miss her everyday!

Kacy - she is the most interesting person I know! I love her intelligence, her spirituality, her kindness and most of all her quirkiness! She reminds me that being yourself and following your own path is one of life's most important lesson. She reminds me that it's important to do things you love, to know who you are and what makes you happy and to take time to be alone. She taught me to take better photos and also to be a more awesome person!

There are so many more amazing women that I am blessed to have in my life and I want to thank and acknowledge them for making my life richer and more wonderful:
my sister (Alex), (not so young) Tina, Jackie, Yolie, Aunty Audrey, Aunty Val, Annette, Ashlee Harrison, Karen, Suzie, Penina, Sunili, Michelle, Judi and all the fabulous women I love on Twitter!

I also want to thank the fabulous men in my life for being the kind of men that every man should strive to be: my amazing HSP (Alan), my wonderful boys (Stinky Pete and Burley), my Grandad (Val), my dad (Barry), Ben (you are the second most amazing man I know), Simon, Clint, Grant, Lee, Wally and Matt.

A final thank you to Mrs L, Carol and Uncle Don for the wonderful lessons you taught me and the love you gave me before you left us.

Wow this post went on a bit longer than I intended, and probably got a bit rambley but oh well. I think it's important to let people know how much they mean to you and today seemed like the perfect day!

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Here I am

I have been struggling to blog regularly lately. I have been in the bottom of my perpetually fluctuating depression cycle and we have had much boring drama in our lives that isn't helping. I have had numerous blog post ideas floating around in my head for weeks but just haven't gotten around to sitting down and writing them!

The last few weeks I have been feeling overly emotional and have been worried about blogging lest I write something that upsets someone (we all know how much I hate doing that!). In the coming weeks though there will be posts about extended family, parenting, school mornings, weight loss, health, exercise, bullying, postcards, movies and books. Now I just have to write them ;)

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